Thank you Joer
Forgiveness, What a word, I have in my life struggled and than abandon this word so many times.... in the end, when i began my sobriety,.. it became the one word that made the biggest difference in my life.
I can easily remember all those self justified moments of hating, and condemning, ..thinking only of how right I am to judge those that had done me wrong... never once looking or even seeing the damage holding onto it was doing to me, in the end, it was more profound for me to forgive my self than to forgive others and I did for give all,... I had to if I wanted this love that was so freely being given to me.
It was not easy though, I had rationalized and justified my angers and resentments for so long, ...I even had social cues in our society telling me it was ok for me to hate and be angry over certain things.....So how was i going to let all those years of stewing go...lol...(But for the grace of God) you know what I mean...lol.
I have told person at time that when it came time for me to face this issue in my life it took several months, and it was like me having a tooth pulled that had a root all the way down to my ass...It was going to take a long time coming out and it was not going to be painless.
But when I finally gave in to forgiveness, I mean surrendered to I think is a better statement, and truly let go of my need to be angry, I was no longer the same person.
I remember how it felt,...the first few day I was going to meeting shearing with the groups I was in,.. that i saw every thing different,..Even little things that people would do did not boughter me any more like they used-to.
Love does heal and redeems as well as transforms....I want so strongly for every one in the world to have these experiences so they too can know what I know...That God, (IT) or what ever you want to call this amazing Higher Power...that it is Dynamically involved in our lives on every level if only we could just open our eyes and accept it being in us all.
Some times I feel this so much it is like a hurt wanting to get out, that I am missing a something that I can do that will help bring about this awareness.
The only tools I have at this point is my Love for others and willingness to be of service ..to shear my experiences, strengths, hopes for other, and dreams of what life can be if we all begin to let this awesome of a loving force in our lives....Living it, breathing it, and in every simple way experiencing it. ....well that is all i have to say for to day.. thanks for keeping this tread alive Joer and Iris
Stay True To The Journey my friends...and Much Love
|