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The Biggest Mistake

Moderator: maryjo606

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Arie

Post subject: The Biggest Mistake

Posted: Sun Apr 23, 2006 8:52 pm +0000

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Joined: Wed Jun 09, 2004 5:51 pm +0000
Posts: 269
Location: USA

The largest error I have witnessed in raising children is overprotection. I understand the inclination of manufacting experiences to the childs benefit... but the highest learning journey comes with the little one going on his own... to make his own mistakes... and to learn his own insights.

"Civilizations attempt to protect children from the consequences of foolish actions leads to insubordination."

_________________
"Through art and philosophy the material-minded man is inveigled into the contemplation of the spiritual realities and universe values of eternal meanings." 5:4.4

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Bro Dave

Post subject:

Posted: Sun Apr 23, 2006 10:56 pm +0000

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Joined: Tue Sep 23, 2003 12:28 pm +0000
Posts: 902

I believe you are correct Arie. I have witnessed many times large families, one in particular with 23 kids!, and of course adult supervision was by necessity delegated and diluted. As far as I know, all the kids turned out fine. The other extreme is the stereotypical family of a minister, where the kid(s) rebel, and can go pretty far off the mark. My kids, (21 & 23) tell us we weren't too strict or to easy,(translation, we were too easy...), but they both have grown into fine young adults we are proud of. Both have gone off to school, and the biggetst "problem" we have, is they don't call often enough. That, however for me, is proof we did our job; They function well without us.

Bro Dave :wink:

_________________
Life; the solitary journey that we share.

IMperfection... the REAL Gift.

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fatboy2

Post subject:

Posted: Mon Apr 24, 2006 6:18 am +0000

Joined: Fri Sep 24, 2004 1:04 pm +0000
Posts: 568

You two are so right. Can your kid hang out at the mall, and spend money??

News alert!! A well-trained chimp can hang out - and be a consumer. Can your kid DO anything????? Errands? Chores? Be responsible??

The problem here is that the Training begins early, maybe very early.
Definitely not at 13 !!!!!! Way too late.

My stepdad was cruel, demanding, crazy. But I would not trade him for a sweetie parent who paid me off with bucks, and taught me No Responsibility.

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Gerdean

Post subject:

Posted: Mon Apr 24, 2006 10:27 am +0000

Joined: Mon Dec 27, 2004 12:42 pm +0000
Posts: 2411
Location: Central New Mexico, USA

Not only does it have to do with being culturally and fiscally responsible, it has to do with helping kids develop thinking skills! The UB talks about how we are such poor thinkers. Much of that has to do with the fact that our parents do our thinking for us, telling us what to do instead of letting us find out many things by trial and error, thus learning cause and effect through exercising the grey matter. If they do it all for us, what is there for us to do but become soft and lazy? We become followers instead of self-acting individuals responsive and responsible to God and our fellows.

_________________
Gerdean O'Dell
Author: "Secrets of Promise"

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fatboy2

Post subject:

Posted: Mon Apr 24, 2006 1:14 pm +0000

Joined: Fri Sep 24, 2004 1:04 pm +0000
Posts: 568

I've hear parents say, "I don't want my kid to have to struggle like
I have had to." As a consequence, this capable parent sets in motion the dynamics of child-rearing that develop an INCAPABLE individual.

I believe a parent sometimes thinks, "Gee, why can't life be
rosy and easy and nice and struggle-free." From that perspective, the parent gives their child an upbringing that leaves unable to deal with hardship, struggle, unfriendly situations.

Their soft-headedness cripples the kid!!

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