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My take on that, is that you experienced a moment of lucidity; A momentary break in ordinary conciousness as it were.
Most of the time we are talking to ourselves, AND the mind is hardly at rest, and the period when the mind is not describing anything
we are not aware of what our identity is or who we are. We have, as it were, something like a guard that keeps us busy all the time and doesn't break, even when we sleep. So we are helpless to keep thinking, and thinking muddles up all awareness but mostly self-awareness.
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That used to happen to me when I was in my early teens. Maybe three times. I know how you feel about it. It's like the most indescribable thing that can happen, and it's sort of like a break in concioussness, and in between one thought and another.
Were we to stay there, we would lose ability to communicate with others and even with ourselves. You'd be in a trance amazed without words that could describe that, and no interest to communicate with anyone.
This state or absence or "state" is the reality that is beyond comprehention because life is wordless and boundless, so the bound
state where we live most of the time is a fake reality, only an impostor.
What you consider to be "yourself" is not even remotely yourself.
I would venture to say that what you are is perfect, glorious, infinite, beyond, amazing, silent, and gloriously divine.
We are in essence like the divine source, how can we be another?
However we may not yet be ready to live in a that glorious state.
The real question is : why are we in this dark state of deep ignorance ruled by the traps of the ego, full of desire, hate, fear, ambition, pride,arrogance? This is not what we are, but we seem to be driven by unseen forces, and the main force is the mind, and mind is thought, and thought is illusion, and illusion is the ego and ego is what prevents us from growing in the right direction.
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